If it takes adversity to teach you how much money you really need to live, stress and sleeplessness to teach you how many hours you don’t need to work, or health problems to teach you how to eat properly, you are not alone. We all get on a path of not paying attention, or maybe being distracted by things and situations that are really not serving us. However, usually once we learn that lesson the voice inside that says “I’m not doing that again, or I’m not going through that again” gets louder and more confident and we learn to recognize what feels right, or what feels wrong much more quickly.

Self awareness is the result of many lessons and experiences, but equally the result of quieting your mind and listening to your body. Finding balance and your true self may not always come from a gentle wake-up call, but it is better to be roused out of old patterns while there is still time to make changes.

This time when you hit a fork in the road, a roadblock, or an intersection, don’t continue down the road that doesn’t work for you, or beat yourself up powering through a brick wall. Go left, or go right, and see what feels good.

Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up, being lazy, or not trying. It is simply a level of awareness beyond the challenge of doing your best, having the ability to accept, and leaving the results in the hands of a higher power.

In these economic times our days are challenging, and our results are often frustrating. So many things are beyond our control that impact our finances, our employment, and our overall quality of life. We wonder why is this happening to me? What could I have done differently?

Everything moves in cycles from beginning to end. In yogic teachings Hindu gods were associated with each phase - Brahma the creator, Vishnu the sustainer, and Mahesh-Shiva the destroyer. If we have reached a phase in some aspect of our lives where something has come to an end, whether it be positive investment returns, or a lucrative career we must accept that everything has it’s beginning, existence, and end. At that point, creativity comes in and we can start over and ask ourselves, how would I like to build this next time? Maybe you’d like to re-build with a whole different career, in a whole different place, with an expectation of a whole new set of results and rewards.

The answer to when and why things happen the way they do is often only clear when we have moved past them. Our ability to trust in a higher power to direct our lives for the greater good requires patience, acceptance, and faith. My yoga teacher often tells us “let it go, it was not yours to begin with”. The truth is, those things, those stresses, those results were never ours to begin with. They were given to us. For this we should be gracious, and remind ourselves of the many gifts and opportunities we do have. Always be grateful, and be creative in designing your new beginnings.

The feeling was a little uncomfortable at first. The skates were stiff, my ankles were stiff, and I felt a little like a dragonfly in Frankenstein boots. Sooner or later I got a feel for things, and began to move with confidence and speed. This is great I thought - I could go on forever! I crossed street after street until my partner recommended we turn around, since we probably covered enough ground to have moved into the next city. Type A that I am, I’m quite certain I would have skated clear to Long Island Sound had it not been suggested that I still had to make the return trip to the car. No problem I thought - I’m not tired, I’m doing great!!

Suddenly in the last stretches my feet and ankles started to feel tired, and my mind went immediately to yoga. I no longer felt balanced on top of my skates, and felt my left ankle beginning to turn out. I focused on balance, balancing poses, and trying to center myself on those wheels. I recited “focus, concentration, determination” in my head a thousand times just to push myself further. With only about 200 yds to the car, my left ankle just gave out and sent me for a tumble on the pavement. I bruised my shoulder and left cheekbone, and truly could not imagine how I would get back up on those skates to make it back to the parking lot. I considered walking back in my socks were it not for the sheer embarrassment of having to pass all the other runners and bikers with skates in hand.

I made it back to the car in the skates, and as I laid on the couch with the ice bag on my cheek I thought, I really need to work on my balancing. I should really practice my balancing poses, especially building strength on my left side. I decided I would take to blow drying my hair on alternate legs for minutes at a time, and that should definitely help. Refining my balance was my self-diagnosis to a more successful rollerblading trip, and I returned to yoga class and told my story. I need to work on my balancing, I must be out of balance.

Somewhere in the quiet moments of the days in between, and all the extra balancing exercise, the truth found me. It was not about my balancing, my balance was good. Somewhere on that path I stopped listening to my body. My enthusiasm, my will, and my determination to be good overshadowed my need to listen carefully to how far my body could carry me. Suddenly it was no different than my pulled hamstring in yoga class, and I knew the reason I fell was that I was not properly finding my edges.

Over and over we hear our yoga teachers tell us to listen to our bodies, and do what we can. Finding your edges is a skill and it does not mean forcing them. It means really feeling them, and gradually finding them. Reaching the next level gently.

I have returned twice to the bike path in my rollerblades, and have set my rollerblading “edges” for the time being to three streets up, and three streets back. I still feel a little like a dragonfly in Frankenstein boots, but I remain verticle.

Remembering that I am not the job I do, the home I live in, or the role I play as mother, sister, or brother may be difficult to separate from. Remembering that I am not the mind that problem solves, calculates, or traces endless lists of things to do, may be difficult to quiet. So many things to so many people, but these are just the roles I play. I am not defined by these roles, and my value is not defined by those who have assigned them to me.

Our true self is “that which cannot be burned by the fire, water can not wet it, and wind cannot blow it”. It probably shouldn’t take 20 sun salutations to settle us into a zone where we can move inward, but eventually we find a place where we feel the peace. I recognize that there are many reasons I hit the yoga mat, and they begin with the simplest of poses. Standing in mountain pose, the lesson in challenging times is clear. Stand as a mountain, “a mountain stands in storms and hail without getting affected.”

It was the first Saturday in May, otherwise known as Kentucky Derby Day when I decided to make my first novice bet at the track and pick a few winners. I reviewed photo finishes, previous winnings, pedigrees, owners, and even jockeys blogs.

So as to best spread my risk, I placed bets on seven well researched horses, convinced my chances were excellent and my winnings secure. The only thing I was missing was a chilled Mint Julep in my right hand, and a dramatic piece of millinery on my head as I waited with nervous anticipation for the race to begin.

“Good grief!” I thought as a favorite stumbled. “Oh no!” I exclaimed as another horse I crossed off my short list of nine, headed to the lead. Where were my sure things?! They were all tied up in a pack racing with each other to the finish. All but one horse. The $9,500 horse trailered from New Mexcio who’s owner hobbled on crutches to complete the pre-race parade to the gate.

“Mine that Bird” was bumped, and left dead last in the breakaway heat. No one was watching, but somewhere in the view from the back there was a greater opportunity. A path presented itself, and as in the yogic lesson “It is the space between the bars that holds the Tiger”, the jockey and the horse saw the space open along the rails and blazed their path to the finish.

No matter where find yourself in the scheme of things in this world, cultivate your awareness. Even at odds of 50/1, the path to your higher self will expose itself and all your preparation will be rewarded.

Our true essence, our spirit, is not defined by what we do for a living, how we feel at the moment, or the lifestyle we have made for ourselves. Our highest self, is independent and free from all of those screenplays, roles, and props.

This Independence Day celebrate your journey to your higher self. Feel your energy spiraling, moving through all the colors of the chakras, and bursting like the fireworks. See your spirit reigning over all else, in all it’s majesty, all it’s color, and all it’s beauty. Picture the bright explosion of that spirit high in the heavens, sending sparkling little lights of kindness, acceptance, forgiveness, and love back down to the earth to bless us all.

Releasing is so important to our growth, and it is equally important to do it with kindness, and gentleness. Let go with grace and gratitude, a final honor for what you leave behind. As the clutter clears in your room, your heart, and your soul, a new light finds a place. In that light, and that moment of clarity, the path to your next great joy seems to find you, and all because you made room for it.

“Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God; your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone, and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people premission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Nelson Mandela

Water governs the second chakra or Svadhisthana. Here water is a passionate energy force. It is the force of our feelings, our desires, and of movement. The sciences have taught us that two thirds of our body is made up of water, and so we find ourselves in a constant internal wave of change, and evolution. In the womb, water is our nurturer. In our tears, water is our comfort. Like a lake we can be still, balanced, and content. Like the moon pulls on the ocean and forces the tides, we move with the force of a wave toward our desires. No doubt we are as we flow, and we are best when flowing to our source.

A regular yoga practice definitely heightens our awareness of what feels good, and what feels right. With each session we strive to find our “edge” - that zone that finds us somewhere between comfort and challenge. That place that stretches us to the next level. Sometimes we need to move a little differently to get there, and other times we simply need to think a little differently to get there. In between there is that feeling of being a little bit stuck, just going through the motions that were once comfortable, but now somehow monotonous. That feeling of “I really need to get off the merry-go round, or I’m going to be sick”. We oscillate, somewhere between our future and our past.

Yoga teaches us to strive for non-duality. We cannot think in the past, and move toward the future at the same time. My favorite lessons from my first yoga teacher were to “look to the future with courage”, and “look to the past with acceptance”. It is either that acceptance of the past that helps us move forward, or that courage to take a brave step into the future that sends us on back on our journey.

When it’s time to grow, it can be time to go, time to learn, time to accept, or time to take the extra step. When we decide to start preparing the backpack of essentials for the journey ahead, we remind ourselves that the first most important step to put forward is our intention. Tell the universe what you hope, what you plan, what you intend, so the path might be opened for you. Clear your mind of the non-essentials so that you are aware enough to see it when it is laid out before you. Put forward your best effort, “but don’t be attached to the results”. Be brave, be joyful, be gentle with yourself. You will get there.